Ticks & More Ticks

Uhm, I have Lyme Disease. Yes. Lyme Disease. Not just from one tick bite, but two. Yes. Two bites. One old, one as fresh as 3 months. Wow. In all my wildest thoughts, I would never have imagined Lyme Disease. When the MRI showed nonspecific white matter disease, everything possible went through my head. I accepted all possibilities. I even accepted that if my ticket was up, it was just up. Mentally, I prepared for the worse. However, not one time while researching white matter disease, did Lyme Disease come up in searches.

Good news. It's curable. Annoyingly though, is that there are two bites causing the pain. The old one, I believe is from Summer of 1999 while living in Gallatin County. The fresh one? Well, I just did move from the country here in Carroll County - back to town. I loved that country home. But I'm speaking from experience when I say that we sure can't have everything we love.

Treatment? I am on three weeks of antibiotic. After which, if the disease is not gone, I will undergo three weeks of IV antibiotic. Either way, it's curable.

I have laughed and cried for what seems like 24 - 48 hours over one thing or another.

LIFE 101

Celebrate Natalee!

Yes, today is here! It's another day we are blessed with. I don't feel great, I feel awful actually. But ya know what? It's just me and God. God, our Creator, walks with me always.

Yesterday was Natalee's birthday. Although few family members and friends were here, we had a happy July 17!

The whole thing was spontaneous. I have been very ill with pain and did not plan a gathering. It just happened that way. I baked her a cake. Her boyfriend came to town to see her. He's a good kid. Not to mention he's handy with the grill . . . I had some meat in the freezer so I defrosted it. We grilled out Meat & Potatoes. Had a pretty cake if must say so myself. The day was a success with no plans. My cousins, Paula & Olivia, stopped in to say "HB".

I am all about spontaneity.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATALEE!

The Color of Pain

Dealing with chronic pain ......... no one can explain it, no one can define it - each person's pain is unique. I stumbled across an article with regards to how people with complaints of pain are perceived. This article was very real for me. Once again, I am not alone in realizing that some folks only feel pain if it is their own.

Pieces from Bankruptcies of the Heart:

The Four Most Commonly Referenced Secondary Gains

The myth is that persons disabled by chronic pain generally enjoy:

1) attention and sympathy from family, friends, and physicians
2) release from task responsibilities at home and at work
3) narcotic medications presumed to induce constant euphoria
4) monetary compensation which approximates actual wages

The Four Least Commonly Recognized Secondary Losses

The reality is that persons disabled by chronic pain generally endure:

1) anger/trivialization/rejection by family, friends, and physicians
2) complicated/frustrating tasks dealing with new bureaucracies
3) agonizing pain without medication; unpleasant side effects with medication
4) denial of disability benefits to which they are legally entitled


Interested? http://www.cssa-inc.org/Articles/Bankruptcies.htm

It is a Good Day to Die

For those who aren't in tune with Native quotes, the titled words are a quote from Geronimo, Chief of the Apache. The quote simply states, that what will be, will be. If it's my day, it's a good day; so-be-it.

If we could all carry that attitude with us each day, we'd be less stressed and more accepting of what comes in and out of our lives. Therefore, we'd be happier. I am guilty. I am. For at times I am weak and forget the wise words of those gone before me. At other times, I am victorious! Although others are unaccepting of me, I stand my ground. I face the enemy with a force of passion without fear of what power they could use against me. Yesterday was one of those days. Now, this day, I feel "It is a good day to die".

Please read with open ears the prayer sent me by a dear sister:

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Grandfather, Great Spirit, once more
behold me on earth and lean to hear my
feeble voice. You lived first, and You are
older than all need, older than all
prayer....You are the life of all things."
-Black Elk, OGLALA SIOUX


Great Spirit--

Sometimes I don't feel like praying. Sometimes
when I have done something wrong, I'm ashamed
to come to You. Even though You have always been
there for me, I sometimes choose to stay away.

It's been hard for me to understand what all knowing is.
Sometimes it's hard for me to see how much You
really care. But I know if I take a few minutes and
think about what I know to be true about You, then
things change and I am able to realize Your power
and Your love.

Today, I'll start by thinking You. I'll think about
all the times you have helped and guided me in
the past. You are life, You are love, You are power,
You are desire, You are truth, You are principle,
You are intelligence, You are courage. With you I
am everything; without You I am nothing.


Creator, thank
You for
allowing me to
start my day
with You.

By: Don Coyhis

Trail of Tears: Cherokee Legacy Native American Indian

Cherokee and Creek people discuss the Allotment Act

Native American Indian Cherokee War Dance

Native American - Amazing Grace (in cherokee)

Long Train of Abuses Part 1(Updated Version)

Long Train of Abuses Part 2(Updated Version)

What is Posh?

The word "Posh" is slang for "class", "style", etc. Once I had a very special friend who took me to nice places taught me the meaning of "Posh". He referred to these places and things such as eating establishments, motels, cars, etc., as being "Posh". When I first came to AOL, I wanted a name that would make reference to the pride I strive to walk with. Seeing how Native People hold a most high class and unique style, I chose "Posh".

Reflecting

You are my Sunshine - My Only Sunshine
You make me Happy when Skies are Gray.
You'll never know Dear, how much I love you
Please don't take, my Sunshine away.

When my children were small, I sang this song to both of them. Little did I know that my Dad also sang this song in his younger days. My Aunt, his sister, told me. My Heart smiles at the thought of seeing and hearing my Daddy sing the same song that I always sang to my children.
How ironic is that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somewhere, over the Rainbow,
way up high -
There's a land that I've heard of
Once in a lullaby . . .
Somewhere, over the Rainbow,
Bluebirds fly -
If birds fly over the Rainbow, then why
tell me why can't I?

I retreat back to that one when I need an
innocent place to fly away to for awhile.
I've heard it said:
"People need love the most,
When they deserve it the least."

*Crystal*

Random Stuff

Online news is my news source of choice. Okay, so this morning I've been online researching lots of stuff. I blame this on the MSN news health headlines.

The previous two hours can be blamed first on "Kings don't rule the castle - queens do" http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19713567/wid/11915773 (psssst ........ this has always been a practice among the original People aka Native American cultures. Next, this caught my eye "Jump in bed: Sex can help you stay healthy" http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19696794/ . Now although that brightly snatched my attention, this one, not so brightly, held priority "Older folks literally don't get the joke" http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19707401/wid/11915773/ . Which led me to this "Who is at risk for Shingles?" because I had Shingles at the age of 13 years.

Okay, this Shingles article says that a person who has had Chickenpox is a candidate for Shingles. I never had Chickenpox. It also states that a person who comes in contact with a person with Shingles who has never had Chickenpox, will not get Shingles but will indeed get Chickenpox. This is confusing. Here, read it for yourself http://www.shinglesinfo.com/risk-factors-for-shingles.html?WT.srch=1&WT.mc_id=SH03M . After a couple of hours of clicking on one link, leading to another click, I began to research (once again) . . . Lyme Disease. Yep. Lyme Disease which has taken up residence in my body. Not from one tick bite, but two. One old, one new (not a poetic attempt). Something inside me was hoping I'd find some information I had overlooked previously. Nope. All the links were familiar.

I have an appointment with an Infectious Disease Doctor next Thursday at 10:30 a.m. The following Monday, I return to the Neurologist for a followup. He doesn't even know his ordered blood work returned the diagnosis of Lyme Disease. I'm looking forward to seeing him.

Please research Lyme Disease online. Educate yourselves and take steps to prevent your family and friends from contracting the disease. It's painful. The good news is - it's treatable. The downside is - if left untreated, it becomes a monster. I'm fighting that demon as I type. http://www.lyme.org/

As the saying (I hate those) go, last but not least . . . this caught my eye with a bit of eyebrow twitching "What Not to Wear If You're Over 40" http://shopping.aol.com/pages/6-Things-Every-Woman-Over-40-Should-Not-Wear/20323 . Seeing how I passed "40" a decade ago, reading this was a must.

I'm going to get dressed. I'm pulling out my mid-thigh jacket to wear over my horizontal striped (tight) sweater, which in fact looks quite hot with my low-rise, capri-length Levis.

Have a nice day.

Days of Endless Meaningless . . .

NOT ............ never, ever are my days endless and meaningless . . . despite popular belief.

Today, I stood before the judge while she ordered my beautiful, nearly 17 year-old daughter to "obey your Mother's rules".

Detention is a place where out-of-control, running the streets, running away, suicide attempting, drug-seeking, drug-using, gang-hanging, punk-fighting children go. Is that not the way it appears to the public eye? Yes. Thank you. It is. However, I know that not all children who go to detention are stereotypical to the aforementioned characteristics.

I know this because my daughter went there and she is nothing like the stereotypical, desperate teen who ends up in custody of the courts. How did she end up there in the first place you ask? I signed papers. Yes. I did. There was an immediate urgency to handle a situation. I handled it. End of story.

So, what happens? We shall see.

NatE does indeed have a boyfriend I would rather she not be with. But I'm leaving it in the hands of God that she will make this choice on her own and let him go. Am I handling this in the right way? I don't know. I'm praying each day. I'm talking to the Lord, our God, our Creator on a regular basis.

I reflect back to my own life's experiences as a young girl. Never once was I allowed to think for myself. This is why I allowed my children to make choices for themselves as long as they weren't going to be in any danger. When the situation comes full circle, they usually make the right choice. Then I smile with pride and knowing that I raised them good. Be respectful. Be considerate. Love your spouse. Love your family.

My grandmother, Maw, was a very wise woman. There are a few profound statements she made to me which have followed me throughout my journeys. One is this:

"Be good to your children. Love your children. Take care of your children. But don't build your life around your children because they'll grow up and leave you, then you'll be left alone."

Maw had no idea her words would become so crucial in my days of meaningful steps . . . Maw was right.

The Wedding

Okay, so I haven't posted in a month or so. I created another blogsite www.crystal-murphy.blogspot.com in order to post my life's work. Writings. Whether good or bad, so be it. It is mine. All mine. No one's but mine.

Anyway ........

The Wedding was a glorious! For pictures, please refer to www.thelizness.blogspot.com