He Woke Me Up

He woke me. I lay down, submitted my Soul and Body to God, my Creator, to do with as He so chose.  He woke me.

Since the day I made an attempt to leave this world, I have been so thankful that I am not in charge of my life.

However . . .  I feel normal, then I don't.

Then there's the pain. It is unbearable. Intolerable. Yet I try to fake it and go through a day as normal as possible. What is normal?  I don't even know at this point.

Pain in itself is depressing on top of depression. Layers of depression have devastated my body.

I worry about my children. I want so badly to be able to help them yet I am unable to do anything for them.  My heart breaks that there's nothing I can do.

I enrolled in school. In order to avoid social contact, I chose to do all the classes online that I was able to find online which was three. One class is downtown Louisville. The online classes were so overwhelming that I have not even signed on to make an attempt for a couple of weeks.  Public Speaking had me so upset within that I had anxiety attacks. I mustered up the courage to sign on last night but was unable to sign in. I hope I'm not thrown out.  I want so badly to pass this course. I will retake the online classes next semester except in a class setting as the one class that I do have this semester has been successful. I'm thinking I'm going to take all of the classes at the Louisville campus because going here, in this town, is frightening. The thought of having to be in class ............ nevermind, it's just not a good idea. I will totally shut down as I fear it is happening already.

Fun Times

Some of my best friends from high school came to my house for lunch yesterday. We had a wonderful time watching and listening to each other laugh and talk! We even called Ronetra via speaker cell phone. We had fun watching Delores film a video of my bulldog, Cordelia, share Catie's Pepsi! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzatKKVpYeo

Born in AUGUST

AUGUST BIRTHDAYS: Suave and caring. Loves to joke. Attractive [in the eye of the beholder]. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves Likes to make friends.

Thanks FaceBook

Thanks be to FaceBook I have connected to some of my life-time best friends.

That is all.

It's really me. Again.

I have decided that the reason my blogs are so far apart is that I have nothing interesting going on and I completely bore myself.  As if I'm not depressed enough, should I blog on a daily basis I would sink down in the bed and not come out.  Again.  This would happen by blogging weekly.

I read my daughter-in-laws blog www.lemonliving.blogspot.com yet seldom comment.  I so seldom comment that I can't recall my sign-in info I used the time before.  Same goes for this blog thing.  I love reading her blog.  In doing so I see my beautiful grandchildren on a regular Nana-time basis.

Had I used that little strike-through feature strike through feature at the beginning of this blog, I would have few words left on the blog to read.

See?  This is already depressing me.

I promise I'm going to try to blog each day.  Something.  Anything.